So you've met the Woman Of Your Dreams and want to ask her to be your wife, but your flummoxed by one thing: the proposal. How can you propose so that she'll be wowed? Here are a few tips to make this most important step a successful one!
KNOW BEFOREHAND THAT SHE'LL SAY YES
How embarrassing would it be to go through the rigamarole to propose only to have your future wife-to-be say no? Most couples talk about important life events before making the plunge, like whether kids are in the picture, religion, values, etc. Make sure "marriage" is part of the conversation, too!
TELL NO ONE
People are awful at keeping secrets. So, if you really want to surprise her, tell no one. I mean no one! All it takes is one innocent slip of the tongue and the surprise is over -- and the surprise is one of the best parts of the proposal!
LET IT BE YOUR DECISION
Do not feel pressured to "pop the question" by anyone. Not your wife-to-be, not your mother, no one. This is your life. Marriage is too big a commitment to be pushed into it. And if you do feel pressured, that should be a signal that you're not ready. Once you know in your heart that this is the right move, then go for it!
CONSIDER ASKING HER FATHER FOR PERMISSION
This is an old tradition, tied back in the day when marriage was more about combining powerful families rather than just love. This decision is up to you. Some might argue that a modern woman today is not her father's property and no one need ask permission on her behalf. On the other hand, asking the father for her daughter's hand in marriage is a good way of earning the respect of your future in-laws. (Remember: you don't just marry the person; you marry the family.)
MAKE IT SPECIAL
Of course, any proposal, by definition, is special. But you want yours to be unique to her. That means knowing her likes & dislikes. There are many ways to propose: the ol' candle-light dinner; the walk along the beach; burying the ring in her bowl of favorite M&MS; getting a plane to sky-write "Will You Marry Me?"; purchasing a billboard with the same message when she drives to work; getting a DJ to call her at work and propose with you on the line; a sudden proposal in Las Vegas. The list is as endless as your wife is unique. Bottom line: this will only happen once (we hope); or at least once with her, so make it memorable.
CONSIDER THE TIMING
A friend of mine once proposed to his girlfriend while on an airplane, knowing that the two families had already gathered at the airport gate waiting to congratulate them. That's a lot of pressure to place on yourself if anything were to go wrong, i.e. she's in a bad mood, spilled drink, anything. Don't put yourself in the position of HAVING TO PROPOSE. You want to be in control of the timing; that way, if anything should go wrong, you can always wait until the moment is right!
CONSIDER THE LOCATION
Is your wife-to-be a private person? Then proposing to her in a crowded restaurant might not be to her liking. If she loves nature, think about having a picnic area set up in a secluded area off the beaten track. Either way, make it as comfortable as possible for her!
KEEP IT SIMPLE
The more complicated you make the plan, the more apt Murphy's Law is likely to apply. Every step in the process is fraught with the danger of someone screwing it up. The less people involved, the better. Again, you want to be in control of when & how; the more complicated it is, the more the machinery is already in motion and you may be pressured to ask her when the moment isn't right.
BE CAREFUL WITH THE RING
Restaurant maitre des are ripe with stories about the ring getting lost in the chocolate cake or a woman almost swallowing the ring from her glass of champagne. Overall, just be careful!
RELAX AND ENJOY THE MOMENT
This is your moment, too! You are asking to make a sacred bond with the woman you love. Why fret? Go with the flow, adjust your plan as necessary, but be in control and most importantly, have fun!
BE MINDFUL OF HER REACTION
This is your one and only warning. Many proposals go great, but if you are with a woman who feels that the ring is not up her standards, this is a major red flag. Whether you give her a large karat ring or a circle of twine, the point is about love. This is the first indicator of whether your marriage is one made in heaven or hell.
Good luck.
KNOW BEFOREHAND THAT SHE'LL SAY YES
How embarrassing would it be to go through the rigamarole to propose only to have your future wife-to-be say no? Most couples talk about important life events before making the plunge, like whether kids are in the picture, religion, values, etc. Make sure "marriage" is part of the conversation, too!
TELL NO ONE
People are awful at keeping secrets. So, if you really want to surprise her, tell no one. I mean no one! All it takes is one innocent slip of the tongue and the surprise is over -- and the surprise is one of the best parts of the proposal!
LET IT BE YOUR DECISION
Do not feel pressured to "pop the question" by anyone. Not your wife-to-be, not your mother, no one. This is your life. Marriage is too big a commitment to be pushed into it. And if you do feel pressured, that should be a signal that you're not ready. Once you know in your heart that this is the right move, then go for it!
CONSIDER ASKING HER FATHER FOR PERMISSION
This is an old tradition, tied back in the day when marriage was more about combining powerful families rather than just love. This decision is up to you. Some might argue that a modern woman today is not her father's property and no one need ask permission on her behalf. On the other hand, asking the father for her daughter's hand in marriage is a good way of earning the respect of your future in-laws. (Remember: you don't just marry the person; you marry the family.)
MAKE IT SPECIAL
Of course, any proposal, by definition, is special. But you want yours to be unique to her. That means knowing her likes & dislikes. There are many ways to propose: the ol' candle-light dinner; the walk along the beach; burying the ring in her bowl of favorite M&MS; getting a plane to sky-write "Will You Marry Me?"; purchasing a billboard with the same message when she drives to work; getting a DJ to call her at work and propose with you on the line; a sudden proposal in Las Vegas. The list is as endless as your wife is unique. Bottom line: this will only happen once (we hope); or at least once with her, so make it memorable.
CONSIDER THE TIMING
A friend of mine once proposed to his girlfriend while on an airplane, knowing that the two families had already gathered at the airport gate waiting to congratulate them. That's a lot of pressure to place on yourself if anything were to go wrong, i.e. she's in a bad mood, spilled drink, anything. Don't put yourself in the position of HAVING TO PROPOSE. You want to be in control of the timing; that way, if anything should go wrong, you can always wait until the moment is right!
CONSIDER THE LOCATION
Is your wife-to-be a private person? Then proposing to her in a crowded restaurant might not be to her liking. If she loves nature, think about having a picnic area set up in a secluded area off the beaten track. Either way, make it as comfortable as possible for her!
KEEP IT SIMPLE
The more complicated you make the plan, the more apt Murphy's Law is likely to apply. Every step in the process is fraught with the danger of someone screwing it up. The less people involved, the better. Again, you want to be in control of when & how; the more complicated it is, the more the machinery is already in motion and you may be pressured to ask her when the moment isn't right.
BE CAREFUL WITH THE RING
Restaurant maitre des are ripe with stories about the ring getting lost in the chocolate cake or a woman almost swallowing the ring from her glass of champagne. Overall, just be careful!
RELAX AND ENJOY THE MOMENT
This is your moment, too! You are asking to make a sacred bond with the woman you love. Why fret? Go with the flow, adjust your plan as necessary, but be in control and most importantly, have fun!
BE MINDFUL OF HER REACTION
This is your one and only warning. Many proposals go great, but if you are with a woman who feels that the ring is not up her standards, this is a major red flag. Whether you give her a large karat ring or a circle of twine, the point is about love. This is the first indicator of whether your marriage is one made in heaven or hell.
Good luck.
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